Are you meeting expectations?

Most people don't aim to be average. However, when you are filling out a performance appraisal average means that you are meeting expectations. In your job, meeting expectations is a good thing. But, what if you are meeting expectations in your marriage? Is that good or bad?

I've been wondering what a marriage performance appraisal would look like. Being inspired by my current class on creating an effective and fair appraisal system, I decided to start a new series.

We will start with looking at developing a performance appraisal. When you develop a PA, you need to base the appraisal on the job description. What is the job description for a wife or husband? It seems that different people bring different expectations of the role and how to live out that role. This can cause conflict in the marriage if you and your spouse do not agree on the role that each play.

The first question you have to answer is what am I measuring. When you evaluate your performance in your marriage what is the performance factor? Is it acts of service, words of affirmation, or number of gifts? Before you can decide how you are doing, you must decide what you are measuring.

Spend time evaluating how you want your performance to be measured. Do you want your spouse to only look at your intentions or is it fair to also consider the outcomes? Apply this same methodology to decide how your spouse should be evaluated.

In the next post, we will explore how to use these factors to increase your COMmitment to your spouse.