When reviewing performance appraisals, it's easy to tell someone all of the things that they are doing wrong. Think of the last time that someone told you all of the things you did RIGHT.
Ok, stop thinking. I'll share my last experience. I specifically asked JM to tell me the following:
I feel motivated when you...
I feel supported when you...
I feel encouraged when you...
I feel most loved when you...
When he gave me his list, I knew what mattered to him. Now that I know specifically how I can motivate/love/support/encourage him, I can increase these behaviors. I even saved the list and review it often to remind me of what's important in his eyes.
To increase your COMmittment, send your spouse a list of all of the things that they are doing right.
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