Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Important Questions

Yesterday I found out that I was approved for the Chicago track at the University of Illinois. I did not explain this earlier, but once you are accepted to Illinois you have to go to Chicago or Urbana-Champaign. Chicago always fills up first and I was placed on the Urbana-Champaign track. Without any real effort on my part the admissions committee called to offer me a place in the Chicago track! I was going to wait until after we purchased the condo to make a big stink. Now, everything is settled…except the condo. We are supposed to close tomorrow and I genuinely have NO idea if that will happen. It appears that the seller is willing to give us an extension if necessary. I am praying for the stress to stop. I am sure I will be able to look back and laugh at how comically inefficient this process was, but not until after it’s over. Currently, everything is at the underwriter’s office. Fyi, the appraisal came back 50% higher than our purchase price, which is terrific in thLinkis climate!

For the last month or so I have been doing a fair amount of spiritual contemplation. I keep coming back to Luke 12:48 “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required…” At Willow we have spent some time considering the topic, which has lain especially hard on my heart of late. Yes, I have worked hard to develop the gifts God has given me. Nevertheless, I feel undeserving of all that I have been given and I want to know what God wants from my life. I have been doing more reading lately. Lee’s mother gave us The Shack, which is an excellent allegorical examination of the age-old question “Why would a benevolent God allow such terrible atrocities to occur?” Currently, I am reading The Hole In Our Gospel, which was basically given to us by Willow. The book is almost confrontational in its quest to have the reader examine themselves and whether they have truly surrendered to God and what that really means. I find surrender difficult. Until I can fully surrender I don’t think I am going to be able to answer the questions on my heart:
“What does God require of me?”
“Why have I been given these abilities and these opportunities?”
“How does my faith affect my life?”
“How does my life affect others’?”

-searching servant

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